My Body Dysmorphia Disorder

How it all strarted

According to Mayo Clinic, BDD is a mental health condition characterized by an obsessive preoccupation with perceived flaws in one's physical appearance that are not observable to others. I’m not sure I agree with the “not observable” part. The root of BDD often begins at childhood because others did “observe” and shared their thoughts out and load. “I hope he gets taller” or “she’s the chubby one”. So although people might have physical changed as they got older and their concerns may sound exaggerated to others the damage has already been done.  

Most people believe BDD is a condition experienced by people who, let’s say, are larger or shorter than the bar society set for us. Although that is probably true for the majority, people on both sides of the bar can suffer from BDD. 

Those who know me know that I’m very open about myself especially when it comes to mental health. Although I was born in the US, I grew up in Greece – a country where kids are not supposed to leave food on their plate. As a kid I was naturally slim – victim of good metabolism! I remember hearing comments like “he barely ate” or he is “too skinny”. I felt I had to eat more and gain weight but that only lead to anxiety every time I saw food in front of me. I remember sweating, wanted to throw up and becoming the slowest eater out there! I do believe the reason I actually started to lift weights when I was about 13 so I could bulk and look muscular was down to Muscle Dysmorphia. There’s one good thing that came out of all this!

I think most of us in the world of fitness have experienced or are still experiencing some degree of BDD. We develop a bit of an obsession with getting stronger, looking more defined, improving endurance – whatever the goal. Perhaps a good obsession – we are only getting healthier in the process, right?

We cannot make BDD disappear because society will always set those gold standards and even change them over the years (thanks to Kim Kardasian, hip thrust became the most popular exercise). But it would be good to try to be less toxically “observant” because in the end words do matter.